The Common Room

PILLOW TALK
BY MEREDITH BAKER


I was walking through the West Village this week and realized that in some places, it’s always Halloween. Like Christopher Street, for example. Glancing in each window, I found a sexy take on pretty much every civil service position imaginable; sexy nurse, sexy firefighter, sexy police officer, even sexy mail carrier. As you can imagine, these businesses were not exactly Halloween costume outposts, but more like year-round institutions with names like Tic-Tac-Toe, Birthday Suit and Carnal Carnival. Anyway, I was prompted to dig up some fun facts about sexual fantasies as well as answer the age old questions (at least at UHall),

How much duct tape is too much?

First of all, let’s identify some terms. When we talk about BDSM, we are referring to bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS) and Sadomasochism (SM). Thus, BDSM is sex play that evolves out of a form of role-play where one person is oppressing the other. Role playing however is simply to act out a fantasy, desire, or character of any kind with a partner. Thus, whether or not you choose to where a sexy costume in either type of sex play, is entirely up to you.

So what else is out there to spice up sex play? And how can one enjoy BDSM or other kinds of role-play safely? Well, the first step is to avoid duct tape. The answer to how much is too much? Probably none. Duct tape can be damaging to the skin and may be difficult to remove, rendering it not very safe for sex play. A safer alternative however, is bondage tape. According to our favorite sex positive sex toy store, Babeland, bondage tape is great because “it bonds, blindfolds, gags, and restrains using a unique self-cling property—no sticky glue! Easily and painlessly removed, it won’t even stick to hair. Lightweight, quick, easy to use, and aesthetically pleasing in red or black, it’s a must-have for your toy box no matter what level of play you are into”.

Bondage not what you were thinking? How about trying one of those sexy nurse costumes? They’re not just for Halloween! People engage in all kinds of different sexual fantasies for a variety of reasons, but generally people like to act out roles in sex because it’s fun. If you feel like you might want to experiment with role playing, suggest to your partner what kind of roles you would most like to try. You may be surprised to find that they’ve been dying for you to ask!

Role play and sexual fantasies are often seen as a taboo in society, and are categorized as something “kinky” but in reality, in sex there is usually at least an underlying role being played out by both partners, even if there is no vocalizing of it, or no props involved. For example, one person often chooses to be more dominant, or partners may say things to each other that they normally wouldn’t say outside of a sexual context.

In any case, no matter what kind of fantasy you’re playing out, remember to be safe. If one partner is not comfortable with the scene or something that is happening, both partners should adjust play. Also, in BDSM in particular, it is important to have a safe-word, or a pre-arranger word that either partner can say at any time during play that immediately stops the action. This ensures that neither partner is ever in a place where they feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, scared, or in too much pain.

That being said, have a very safe and sexy Halloween!

Stay safe and stay street smart!

Want to know more about a pressing sexual health issue? Have a question you’d like to see answered? Ask Meredith! Place your question in the Ask Meredith Box in front of the mailboxes and read Pillow Talk each Sunday night to learn more about the sexual health issues that UHall is asking about.

ALSO Meredith now has NEW OFFICE HOURS! Join her each Sunday from 5pm-7pm in room 808A for Hot Cocoa and Questions!