The Common Room

What is a dental dam and how do you use it?

Dental dams are thin squares of latex that can be used to protect against HIV transmission and other STIs through oral sex.

Dental dams are used as a barrier between one person's body and another person's mouth. Place the dental dam so that it covers your partner's vulva or anus and hold the outer edges of in order to keep it in place, then start licking, kissing, or sucking.

Tips to Know:

• You should draw a letter or symbol on one side of the dam that is not reversible (in case it falls you know which side you were using).
• Put a water-based lube on your partner.
• Use a new dental dam when moving from anus to vagina and after each use discard the dam.
• NEVER share a dental dam with your partner.

If a guy pulls out his penis before he ejaculates can you still get pregnant? And can you get pregnant while on your period?

This is also known as the "withdrawal method." And the answer is YES. You can still get pregnant or contract STIs from this because men produce sperm at the point of an erection (when they become hard). There are drops of semen present at the tip of the penis even before the man climaxes, and each drop contains hundreds of sperm that can make their way into a woman's reproductive tract and impregnate her. Pre-cum is the small amount of fluid that a man ejaculates before orgasm, and it may contain sperm from a previous ejaculation (for example, from a day prior).

Once again... YES! A woman can get pregnant anytime essentially, even when she is on her period!

This is not very likely, but it is possible. It all depends on if you ovulate (release an egg) near the time when your period comes. Sperm can live for up to 5-7 days inside a woman, and an egg can live up to 2 days. Thus, it is possible to become pregnant during menstruation from seven days before ovulation to two days after. Menstrual blood can also transmit HIV, therefore wearing condoms during your period is recommended.

How can you make anal sex more enjoyable for the receptive partner?

It it important to communicate with your partner about your comfort-level, and you should ask the inserter to be gentle and slow.

Used a lot of water-based lube! (The anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina, thus use lube generously.)

If you feel pain, stop for a moment, this will allow your sphincter (the ring of muscle surrounding the anus) to relax. Then you can continue once the discomfort stops.

You could have anal sex facing down, because this can reduce pressure on the anus.

Take gradual steps: Try using a finger; then you can progress to a sex toy; and then to a penis.

Sex toys to use:

• Anal Beads: usually made from rubber or plastic that is strung on a nylon or plastic cord, variety of sizes. (Important: If using plastic beads, file down any sharp seams before use to prevent unintentional injuries by using a nail file).
• Butt Plugs: sex toy designed to be inserted into the anus for sexual pleasure; it is like a dildo, but usually shorter and with a flared base.

Tips about anal play:

• When using anal beads, a dildo, or vibrator for anal stimulation, make sure it has a flared base, otherwise it can get lost in the rectum. Unlike the vagina, the rectum has no ending, and "lost" items can be hard to extract (sometimes requiring a visit to the Emergency Room). IMPORTANT: If this happens, usually one can squat and take deep breaths and the objects will eject themselves gradually.
• It is key to relax the anal sphincter muscles to enjoy anal play. During insertion, a big exhale can make it easier to slide in a well lubricated object.
• Since the anus consists of very sensitive tissue it is important to be careful, because it can tear easily. With patience, it it can stretch, and stimulation can be quite pleasurable.
• Men and their partners can access the prostate (a highly erogenous spot in males) through the anus. It is behind the pubic bone and below the bladder; it is 3 inches inside the rectum, toward the front of the body's rectal wall.

Do not try to insert too much, too quickly!

Avoid foreign objects that have sharp edges or points, as these can tear the rectal walls and perforate the colon.

ASK VERA appears every Monday in The Common Room. Put your questions in the ASK VERA box, located at the left end of the mailboxes in the U-Hall lobby.

VERA HENDRIX, a senior in CAS, is U-Hall's Sexual Health Advocate. She's available to answer any questions related to sexual health that you may have and has free samples of condoms and lube. She holds open Q & A hours on Wednesday evenings from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. in room 808A. Or, you can e-mail her at vh360@nyu.edu to schedule an appointment.